Friday, March 5, 2010


Ihave had the good fortune to have known and shared the last 30 years of my life with my Brother James.
I met James while I was still serving in the Army and we have been friends since.

James was born in Tennessee and raised in Birmingham and possess a wit and sense of humor that at times can double you over if your not ready for it.
James is in the photo above.

Years ago, on a lazy Saturday afternoon I decided to spend some quality time cleaning some of my firearms. I lived in the country at the time and had the room to safely fire guns near my house into a back stop.
I sat up a work bench outside and proceeded to tear down and clean some of the rifles and hand guns.

A short while later my Brother James arrives and we stand around jaw jacking while I continue to clean and wipe.

At the time I owned a few full auto weapons and James had been chomping at the bit to fire my 9mm MAC-10 on Full Auto.

I retrieved it from the safe and drug out an ammo box of 9mm rounds and told James if he wanted to fire it, he's got to load the 30 round clip; which he dove into with all four feet!

James was no stranger to firearms but had yet to fire anything capable of full automatic.

I rolled an old trailer out to serve as a target rest and placed some cans on the trailers side rail.

James completed loading the clip and was ready to Rock & Roll so I again went over the Mac-10's trigger, safety, fire selector and how to hold the weapon while firing on Auto.

I also mentioned that he should fire burst of rounds to control the targeting and extend the firing time.

He put on the ear protectors and picked up the Mac-10 from the bench rest and aimed it down range toward the trailer with the cans, he slide the fire selector from Safe to Auto and squeezed the trigger.

The next 3 seconds were a blaze of fire and a hail of 9mm rounds from the 3 inch barrel as the MAC-10 consumed the 30 rounds James had loaded.
James was more than just a little excited by this new experience and since he just held the trigger the MAC-10 kept firing till the clip was dry.

As the roar of the MAC-10 was still in the air, James turns to me and yells at the top of his lungs: "Damn Bro, That's funner than stomping baby chickens"!

That was the first Jimmyism I witnessed the birth of and I hurt from laughing at James' pronouncement all the next day.

By the way, He cleared all the cans from the trailer. Not by actually hitting them but from dang near sawing the trailer in half as the MAC-10 climbed upward during his 30 round Rock & Roll fun.

James has always kept me in stitches when we hang out but this was something completely different. He didn't have time to plan what he was going to say, it just exploded from his head spontaneously and fit the moment perfectly.

James lives in Madison Alabama and works for a company in the Free Trade Zone at the Huntsville Airport complex that provides JIT materials for production lines of the companies they serve.

One afternoon when I was visiting his office we were walking through one of the massive warehouses when the US Customs Inspector walked in through one of the side doors about 50 feet from where James & I were talking.

This was no average US Government employee, this Customs Inspector was a drop dead gorgeous 25 year old Brunette in a very tight and flattering uniform.

As she walked toward us I stated the obvious "Wow, she is hot!", to which James exclaimed "She may be beautiful now, but if you married her she'd swell up like a dead cat in a creek"!

This Jimmyism almost made me swallow my tongue I was laughing so hard!

Over the last thirty years James has managed to spin out many of these pearls and always at just the right moment to insure a long & painful belly laugh will follow.

Well done Bro! Well Done.


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